Wordiness: TOEFL "Style" Part 3 Writing Skill

 

TOEFL MASTER

WRITING SKILL

“STYLE: WORDINESS“

Gambar 1. Wordiness TOEFL Writing Skill

 

Hi, sobat!

Tahukah kamu apa itu wordiness? Ya, wordiness merupakan kelebihan penggunaan kata; maksudnya adalah penggunaan kata-kata yang terlalu banyak (tidak efektif dan efisien) untuk membentuk sebuah kalimat dalam mengungkapkan sebuah ide, gagasan, atau pemikiran. Sementara itu, dalam bahasa Inggris penggunaan kata-kata secara efektif dan efisien umumnya diperlukan dalam menyampaikan ide, gagasan, atau pemikiran. Oleh karena itu, diharapkan pembicara dapat menyampaikann maksud secara jelas dan lugas.    

Baca Juga: Kinds of Sentence: Simple, Compound, Complex, & Compound-Complex 

Pada kesempatan kali ini, kita akan membahas “Wordiness”. Yuk simak penjelasannya berikut ini!

 

 

WORDINESS

Aturan umum dalam bahasa Inggris adalah bahwa “lebih singkat lebih baik”. Yaitu ketika ide yang sama dapat diungkapkan secara langsung dengan beberapa kata yang lebih sedikit, pilihlah versi yang lebih singkat. Ada beberapa cara untuk melakukan hal ini di antaranya sebagai berikut:

1. Hindari penggunaan bentuk passive yang tidak diperlukan.

2. Hindari pengunaan relative clauses yang tidak diperlukan dimana adjective, participal phrase, prepositional phrase, atau appositive sudah cukup. Perhatikan contoh kalimat berikut ini!

 

ADJECTIVE
Not: The man who is tall bought the car.	The tall man bought the car.
PARTICIPLAL PHRASE
Not: The young girl who is waiting by the door would like to see you.	The young girl waiting by the door would like to see you.
PREPOSITIONAL PHRASE
Not: The package that is on the table is ready to be mailed.	The package on the table is ready to be mailed.
APPOSITIVE
Not: Hawaii, which is the fiftieth state, is a favorite vacation spot.	Hawaii, the fiftieth state, is a favorite vacation spot.

 

Baca Juga:

Kinds of Clause: Adjective Clause

Reduced Adjective Clause

 

3. Menyampaikan ide atau gagasan secara lugas dan langsung.

 

Not: It was a discovery of great importance.	It was an important discovery.
Not: He noticed a girl who was pretty.	He noticed a pretty girl.
Not: She spent a total of fourteen years, from 1950 to 1964, in the research area of enzymes.	She did enzyme research from 1950 to 1964.
Not: He walked down the stairs in a quick manner.	He walked down the stairs quickly.

 

Baca Juga:

Part of Speech: Adjective

Part of Speech: Adverb-ly

 

4. Hindari redundancy (pengulangan ide yang sama).

 

Not: She returned back on Monday.	She returned on Monday.
Not: His virtue and goodness were well known. (Virtue is goodness.)	His virtue was well known.

 

 

Error Examples

Pada beberapa contoh berikut ini, kita tidak bisa mengatakan bahwa kalimat yang pertama pasti salah. Namun, pada percakaapan biasa, kalimat yang kedua lebih disukai. Kita menyebut kalimat pertama “WEAK” dan kalimat yang kedua “PREFERRED”.

 

WEAK	PREFERRED
The examination was finished by all the students within the allocated time.	All the students finished the examination in time.
The professor, who was tall and blond, lectured about medieval architecture.	The tall, blond professor lectured about medieval architecture.
Paul read Jane’s letter in an excited state of mind.	Paul excitedly read Jane’s letter.
The committee discussed the problem for a long time without being able to come to the point where a decision could be reached.	The committee discussed the problem for a long time without reaching a decision.
Crime and illegal acts are on the rise.	Crime is on the rise. (Crime is illegal acts.)
The girl who was wearing the colorful bathing suit is my cousin.	The girl wearing the colorful bathing suit is my cousin.
The glass figurine that was on display in the store window appealed to me.	The glass figurine on display in the store window appealed to me.
Boston, which is the capital of Massachusetts, has many universities and colleges.	Boston, the capital of Massachusetts, has many universities and colleges.

 

Skill Builder 3: Wordiness

Directions: There is some sentence seems wordy (to have too many words) below. Decide whether the sentence is correct (C) or incorrect (I).

(___) 1. The man indicated a negative response by shaking his head.

(___) 2. The house will probably be finished in four months.

(___) 3. The house on the corner burned down last night.

(___) 4. Jane went to the store with the purpose of selecting and purchasing a new dress.

(___) 5. Running on foot through the street, the thief was apprehended by the police.

(___) 6. My wife and I argued for hours before deciding to send our son to summer camp.

(___) 7. Bob saw several pieces of art that were expensive.

(___) 8. Jenny received several speeding tickets.

(___) 9. The ballerina danced her dances for hours.

(___) 10. Professor Blanton, who is the college president, will speak on this topic.

(___) 11. Betty opened the mysterious package cautiously.

(___) 12. The saleswoman in the red dress insulted me.

(___) 13. Three hours was the length of time that we found necessary to drive to New York.

(___) 14. The Louvre, a world-famous art museum, is in Paris, France.

(___) 15. The book was read by me in four hours.

 

Key Answer

1.      Incorrect 2.      Correct 3.      Correct 4.      Incorrect 5.      Incorrect

6.      Correct 7.      Incorrect 8.      Correct 9.      Incorrect 10.  Incorrect

11.  Correct 12.  Correct 13.  Incorrect 14.  Correct 15.  Incorrect

 

 

Its Correction

1. The man shook his head. Or the man said no.

2. The house will probably be finished in four months.

3. The house on the corner burned down last night.

4. Jane went to the store to buy a new dress.

5. Running through the street, the thief was apprehended by the police.

6. My wife and I argued for hours before deciding to send our son to summer camp.

7. Bob saw several expensive pieces of art.

8. Jenny received several speeding tickets.

9. The ballerina danced for hours.

10. Professor Blanton, the college president, will speak on this topic.

11. Betty opened the mysterious package cautiously.

12. The saleswoman in the red dress insulted me.

13. It took us three hours to drive to New York.

14. The Louvre, a world-famous art museum, is in Paris, France.

15. I read the book in four hours.

 

Next to >>> Style: Substandard

 

Source

Peterson`s (www.petersons.com). (2007). Peterson`s Master TOEFL Writing Skills. Peterson`s, a Nelnet Company

 

Demikian tadi sekilas Pembahasan TOEFL Writing Skills terkait “Style: Wordiness”. Semoga bermanfaat dan dapat menambah wawasan baru bagi kita dalam mempelajari bahasa Inggris; serta, terutama bagi kalian yang ingin atau akan mengikuti tes TOEFL.

Penulis mengharapkan saran dan kritik yang membangun dari para pembaca berkaitan dengan konteks atau isi tulisan sehingga nantinya hal tersebut dapat penulis jadikan inspirasi dan motivasi untuk melakukan perbaikan dan pengembangan tulisan berikutnya. Terima kasih 😊